Hi Fab Fam. This is the first Menopause Monday. I’ve decided to share what I'm learning about my own body in real time, in a way that's actually useful to you.

I've spent a lot of weeks in this newsletter telling you to come back to your true self—to heal your mind, and to remember who you were before all the titles. But the fact is that your true self can be healing and your body can still feel like garbage at the same time. Right now, mine does. I feel horrible. I’m Tired, I’m Hurting, I’m angry, I’m irritable, and I”m confused. I don’t understand what I”m feeling and that probably makes me feel the worst. And to be honest, I definitely do not feel fabulous at fifty plus.

Instead of pretending that this isn’t happening, I created this weekly issue so we that we can all learn together. We can't heal one side of ourselves and leave the other sitting in the dark. There's so much about menopause I still don't understand. I'm learning something new almost every day.

On today’s Menopause Monday: what menopause and perimenopause actually mean, a hormone myth that's cost women real years of relief, real quotes from women who didn't get a straight answer either, and a few questions worth bringing to your next appointment.

This is going to be a running resource, not inspiration. Just the information nobody taught us early enough so that we could be prepared.

Let's start basic, because somehow nobody sat any of us down and properly explained this.

Menopause is not one bad week. It's not a single hot flash or one weird cycle that throws you off for a month. Technically, menopause is one specific point in time: the day you've gone twelve full months without a period. That's it. That's the whole definition. Everything before that, all the years your body starts doing things you didn't sign up for, has its own name: perimenopause. And perimenopause, not the technical finish line, is where almost all of the chaos actually lives.

That distinction matters more than it should have to. Most of us grew up thinking menopause meant the story just ends: periods stop, you deal with it, you move on. Nobody mentioned that the disruption, the sleep, the mood, the rage, the sense that your own body has gone off script, can start showing up years before you ever hit that twelve-month mark.

I know mine did. I've probably been in perimenopause since my forties and didn't know what I was looking at. I knew things were changing. I've had trouble sleeping for years now and never once connected it to anything. I just figured it was one of those things you get older and stop questioning. Nobody said, "hey, this might be your hormones." I had to get all the way here to find that out.

So here's the practical part, and it's not complicated: notice patterns. If your sleep has changed, your mood feels different, your period is doing something new, or your body just feels unfamiliar lately, write it down, not to panic, just to track it. A running note on your phone works fine, call it a menopause journal if you want. That record is worth more in a doctor's office than trying to remember everything from scratch under fluorescent lights.

Every woman's experience is different. Mine isn't going to match yours. This section isn't here to make my version the official one. It's here to make sure fewer of us end up standing in the dark the way I did.

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Once you understand what perimenopause actually is, the next question is usually what to do about it. That's exactly where the myths start creeping in.

What matters now is an actual conversation about your age, your symptoms, your health history, and whether hormone therapy makes sense for you. It is not a one-size-fits-all answer, but it is also not something to dismiss out of hand.

None of this was obvious even to women with every resource available to them. Michelle Obama was married to a sitting president and had about as much access to good medical care as any woman in America. She still didn't have a name for what was happening to her own body.

And since she brought up palpitations specifically: they're usually harmless and can absolutely be hormonal, but they still deserve a call to your doctor either way, and if one ever shows up alongside shortness of breath, dizziness, fainting, or chest pain, that's not a wait-and-see, that's urgent care, same day. Rule your heart out first, then talk about hormones.

Two very different experiences of the same transition. There isn't one version of this. Which is exactly why the next conversation you have should be with your own doctor.

Four questions worth bringing to your next appointment, whether you think you're already in it or just starting to wonder:

Halle Berry has talked publicly about a doctor misdiagnosing her perimenopause symptoms entirely. Her words: "My doctor had no knowledge and didn't prepare me." You're allowed to ask a doctor to connect the dots instead of doing it yourself, years later, after the fact.

If this helped make sense of what's actually happening in your body, forward it right now to one woman who needs the same information. That's it. That's the ask.

For This Week

If any of this sounds familiar, start noticing what's changed and when. That alone is useful.

And if you'd rather talk about it than just notice it alone, reply to this email or find me in the community: what's one menopause symptom nobody warned you about? I'll add real replies here, first name only or anonymous, your call.

Sharing what I'm learning as I go,

Izzie

Fab at Fifty Plus