Healthcare Fatigue is Real (And I'm So Over It)
Healthcare Fatigue
I'm 52, and I'm officially sick of being sick. Or more accurately, I'm exhausted by the possibility of being sick, the monitoring for being sick, the appointments to make sure I'm not sick, and the follow-ups to the follow-ups about that thing that's probably nothing, but let's check it again in six months.
Remember when you were young and you just... lived? You didn't think about your body unless something was actively broken. Now? My Google calendar looks like a medical residency program.
The never-ending carousel:
Annual physical (which now includes about seventeen forms and takes three appointments to complete)
Mammogram
Dermatologist (because apparently every freckle is now suspicious)
Eye doctor (hello, reading glasses)
Dentist twice a year
That specialist for the thing that's "probably fine, but let's keep an eye on it"
Blood work for cholesterol/thyroid/vitamin levels/whatever else
The gynecologist
And oh, did we schedule your colonoscopy yet?
I used to be one of those paranoid health freaks who never missed an appointment. I'd show up 15 minutes early with my list of questions. Now? I'm rage-canceling appointments and pretending I didn't see the reminder texts.
What happened to me?
I think it's the sheer volume. The constant monitoring. The way every checkup seems to spawn two more appointments. "Everything looks good, but let's just check this one thing." That one thing leads to another thing. Before you know it, you're spending every other Tuesday in a waiting room, filling out the same forms you filled out last month, wondering if this is just what life is now.
And the mysterious ailments! Things that hurt for no reason. Things that used to work fine and now just... don't. Your knee is weird. Your shoulder clicks. You're tired even though you slept. Is it hormones? Stress? Age? All of the above? Do we need to test for it?
The worst part is knowing that skipping appointments is stupid. I KNOW this. But I'm just so tired of myself and my body being a part-time job.
Here's what nobody tells you about getting older:
It's not the wrinkles or the gray hair that gets you. It's the relentless maintenance. Your body becomes this high-maintenance thing that requires constant attention, and honestly? Some days I just want to ignore it and eat pizza and pretend I'm 32 again.
But I'm not 32. I'm 52. And I know the people older than me are reading this like "oh honey, just wait." Which is NOT helping, by the way.
So what do you do when you're sick of being sick (or sick-adjacent)?
I wish I had some profound wisdom here, but I'm still figuring it out. Some days, I show up to my appointments like a responsible adult. Other days, I reschedule for the third time and feel vaguely guilty about it.
Maybe this is just another part of the adjustment. Like how we adjusted to needing reading glasses and not being able to eat whatever we want without consequences. Maybe healthcare fatigue is just one more thing we have to make peace with as we navigate this chapter.
Or maybe we need to give ourselves permission to be human about it. To say "I'm overwhelmed" without the guilt. To prioritize which appointments actually matter and let go of some of the anxiety about the rest.
I don't have the answers. I'm just tired. And apparently, I have three appointments next week.
If anyone has figured out how to make peace with the medical-industrial complex that is aging, I'm all ears. Until then, I'll be over here pretending I don't see those reminder texts.
Is it just me, or are we all drowning in appointment fatigue? Drop a comment if you get it.
P.S. - Please don't skip your important checkups. I know I'm being a hypocrite. We should probably both reschedule those appointments we canceled.
